How can I support a friend who stammers?

This article is written for all those young people out there who have a friend who stammers. It provides a bit more information about how you can support your friend and be an ally to the stammering community. 

Before you dive in, it is worth adding that everyone is different - stammering doesn't make people the same just like having brown hair doesn't make everyone the same! These suggestions have come from over 30 years of working with young people who stammer. But as our young people tell us (a lot!), these aren't helpful to everyone. So, be sure to have a chat with your mate and find our what supports them best.

• Maintain eye contact to show that you are engaged in the conversation.

• Be patient: Give your friend time to speak and don’t rush them.

• Use pauses and slow your own speaking pace rather than telling your friend to slow down, relax or breathe.

• Take clear turns when you are chatting so that everyone gets their chance to talk and people are not interrupted.

• Focus on your friend’s successes to build their confidence, and take the focus away from their stammer.

• Let your friend know that you understand their stammer is not their fault and that it doesn’t affect your perception of them.

• Encourage your friend to talk openly about their stammer and how they feel about it.

• Respect your friend’s choices about when and how they want to communicate. If they choose to be more reserved in certain situations, respect their decision.

• Learning more about stammering and its challenges will help you be better informed and supportive.

• If you feel comfortable, and you notice others being insensitive or disrespectful toward your friend’s stammer, kindly speak up and let them know how they can help instead.

• If your friend is open to it, encourage them to seek the support of a speech therapist or counsellor who specialises in stammering.

Your support and understanding can help your friend feel more comfortable and confident in social situations. Remember that your encouragement can make a significant, positive impact on their life.